Jewel & Sapphire™

2008 marks the 10th year where my family was in bankrupt mode. Life was a long serious of struggle. I never know how my dad felt and it was lately when i "matured" that i understood the hardships of my family. Flashback into my history...

1997 was the time when we're rich in a sense that my dad was only a farmer. Dad brought us to Singapore and KL and it was my first trip outside Brunei crossing the seas. To recall back 10 years as much i can remember.... we went to singapore first then KL. I still remembered where i cant stand the pain of my ear... and now i still can get used to it. The pain even lasted two hours once. I remember the hotel we stayed was Sg Wang hotel... if im right and we went the furthest i guess is Batu Caves. Bird shit dropped on my brothers hand tht time as i can remember adn there was one indian song i fancy that time.

Many thanks to a taxi driver who was willing to be out tour guide. Ten years i wonder if he is still alive.Oh yeah,i also remembered we went up Genting that time. Funny thing was my bro dropped his tooth there and i at an age of 11 was brave enough to talk to an officer there to get my dad.Haha... i tot that casino was gone when i went there again and i didn't know there were more than one casino!!! Well two nights ago me and my friend went there cos Sze Sze was there applying a card. I was so happy to see the outside of the casino. I remember every moment when i was ten years ago. I tear creeped out a bit rejoicing my young happiness. Nobody knew it. I wish to share with Yu hua telling her but somehow i don't know why i can't move forward...Only she knew my story since i shared with her before. I did told CIndy too that time but they don't seem interested. Haha... maybe it was only me that will understand this childlike happiness... i wish i could stay there longer a bit but we had to catch up to watch some 4D show.

Other memories include the Lot 10 and Sg Wang... where the song Lemon Tree was a hit that time. They had a man made lemon tree there. I also remembered the watch shop that my dad brought his Christa Carol watch. Free one bag which looks lavish and well its genuine leather. i bring that too school often til it got old and my mum asked me to threw it. I was reluctant... for i loved leather... even my watch is leather strap.

We had our first japanese meal there and haha...somehow i steal remembered i dropped a watermelon there...>< I think that is what i can remember during those 3 days there.

Somehow... im in tears again blogging down here. Our next three days was in Singapore. I remebered going to Orchard Road where it rained heavily and took my first bus. There was also Har Par Villa and i got scared seeing the levels of hell. Still remembered them. There is also a wishing well there and i told my mum i want to wish.... i mean i wished to be a clever boy and useful person. Looking right now... i failed a lot. Stupid and not so useful... always kena scoled " Ni she ge ren yi jing mei you yong!"...

We also had a trip to Sentosa Island and water world. My 2nd bro saw a frog and we all went there have a look. Then my dad got pissed and said " Damn it! Spend thousands of dollars and all you want to see is a frog!" and this incident travelled back to Brunei where my relative said " never seen a frog is it?" Well i'm fond of frogs now... a loyal fan to Keroro Gunso.XD

Can't remember much. Oh yeah i once got lost in KL tower. Parents was in 7th floor and i was shitting in ground floor. Dad left me go alone and when i go back.. i couldnt remember where i was. Kinda panic and yay i did meet up my parents. Now i have a habit of getting lost... Memang tau the place sure big still pok meng to discover.

Those six days was great. I wish i dared to say Thank You to my dad...

Well back to my original story. Well before 1997 when i was around 3 - 5 years old. Family was poor as well. Was in Sabah that time. Damn poor. Dad got cheated by so called friends a number of times. No wonder dad dun like my friends and dun like me doing things for friends. " there is no such thins as friends. They only use you. When you got money.. they find you. No money. Bye Bye" I had some characteristics similar to my dad. Easily cheated and taken advantage of...and very offensive. I hope i wont be like my dad when i get married. And i hope my dad will still got new friends even though he is old now. I had a girl i fancy and adored. Though i still a mouse at times in front of her... but i wish to grow old with her too. She was a beautiful person and i even started to like her parents tho hell i never meet them. She must have great parents or else she wont be that great too. Hope my parents... would make good friend hers...haha. :X. I wonder if i will have a future with her pun... a lot of challenges to go through with her. As they once said, the most challenging ones are always the best ones...

When we were on the verge of death, was happy that an malay family helped my dad. I am very glad and appreciate the persons good intentions. That person is dead now and i hope God will give him a high place in heaven, And i swore that if i got rich, i will find them and give them a lot of money. It's d only way i can repay them.

Fast forward to 1997 again... yeap ecomomic crisis and greed destroyed my family. We were left pennyless. Luck was on my dads side and well again... because of greed, we got destroyed again. I hope my dad learnt his lesson if we had one more luck. Just one more luck that is all we need...

I have a confession to made. Well it was in 1997 also. I stole my dad's money often.... and once so stupid where i stole it directly from my dads wallet. Obviously caught and i blame it on my youngest bro. Was caught the second day. Got beaten severely and i guess i hurt my family a lot. One thing about me is... im not a good liar... and well...maybe im too soft hearted so i never cant lie. I just suck at time. IM not a good brother also. Was very selfish that time... very selfish. Now all adults lo... relationship getting better. they even do better than me. felt both useless and proud...

Continuesly over the years i disappoint my family till my dad said " you're dead in my heart. No longer my son..." I don't care what he said then. And it was only now when i blogged.. i felt the pain...

i wish i could say thank you and sorry to my dad. He is old now and i hope i have the chance to say it to him. I rarely talked to him since 1997... hate myself for being a useless son. So lagging and no common sense... always kena scold. Rarely did anything right. somehow i like 2008, i hope it will have the guts to say it on fathers day. god i pray for my families health and safety..

Ending it now before i go boohoo. haha...sigh....