Jewel & Sapphire™

Been dreadfully sick today and it isn't getting any better... well it does improve a bit tho...today had cucumber and cheese sandwich for lunch and bihun for breakfast. And for dinner i'll had porridge and some vege i guess. I made that someone a lot angry today so i hope she would be cooling off by now. And well as she wouls say "not the first time ler" aiyok... well...it's funny how relationship works but i do appreciate this one. Hehe to "you" when you read this... erm, there may be ups and downs at times between us but there is no hard feelings rite? On and on i will try and improve myself ^_^

Was sitting at the back of the class today when suddenly a classmate whom i feared a lot suddenly turn back dramatically and said "LOUIS, ARE YOU OKAY ???" and i was like WTFFF!!! and it just made my health worser. I rather had no one caring for me than havin him care.... it's a pain in the heart...

and i REALLY DO HATE IT WHEN PPL LINKED ME TO HIM. Why d hell it must be me??? Nabe... go here or there always kena linked with things i don't like or hurtful. Can't just give me peace? Why don't you TRY to be me or take care of him since everyone just wished me to do it? Or is it that everyone just don't want their hands getting dirty so just pushed me down down and down...

I'm not angry cos that i should be the one doing it but i think everyone should be. I'm all round mentally tired and having the pains before... i know how it feels like. At home i have played my role where no one knows... but at least at uni let them play the role.

Maybe im wrong in some sense... or whatever it is... but i too am tired of some things and need a break...

Then yesterday some so-called "friend" said something hurtful... guess i'll never be satisfied if i put it down here... it hurts indeed when hearing those words and i was like wth are you thinking... can't just give me a chance or are you just so ****** to think?

Human nature is full of flaws ... some managed to change their ways ... some didn't... but one thing i do realize maybe is that how people work around me. Work as in function and behavior... sometimes i wonder should we be fakes or originals? But then more people tend to like fakes and are happier that way while the originals tend to be ditched at most times... i don't know...:(

things seems to be better with my absence... should have stop hopping around now...just make myself miserable... :(

Great Uncle passed away 2 nights ago when i was out celebrating with my friends. Nobody told me till the next day... i was a bit sad that i didn't talk to him much when he was alive... well there isn't much to talk tho... well past is past... he's somewhere in this world now... i do now know if he is a good person but he is a good person to my family....

Yesterday morning was a terrible day for someone too. My friend friend's roomate got raped by two men somewhere in sec 14. the closed down jaya area. It was really OMG when it happens to someone almost near you... furthermore it's a fellow student... things won't be fine for a rape victim but i prayed that she would be strong enough to endure the traumatic and mental pains...

And for those two men, i hope God may punish them severely...

It's kinda disgusting when these things happen ... and some how most of the flaws created in this world are by MEN. Sometimes i do feel ashamed when i know these kinda things. and i don't really understand why those men and the rest in this world choose to do evil things...

In my class... well i was labelled as "hamsap" or anything "porny" ... i don't really know why... but maybe it was just the way i talk or something. I'm a loyal breand fan of Playboy too. heheh.... well all in all i know im a decent guy, maybe thats enough. >< Decent as in i don't fool around or something...or hurt people purposely... and yeah i do watch porn... tell me which guy didn't watch porn?

6th of march and my budget dropped drastically... wth happened again? must be those delayed bills that killed me off or something. Life seems to get worser each day for me.... sigh... but i'll stay strong..

i felt something amiss this month... i don't know what but i know i'll be facing some hard obstacles to tackle. One thing to keep in mind, be strong and ignore... just focus on one sole thing and ignore the rest...

I'll be going back brunei in two months time... missed home dearly...T_T Dam sometimes i wonder why am i so emotional... have i just started to understand things? it's always worry this and that, think too much of this and that..

Enough of the blogging... started to have teary eyes again...