Wednesday, June 18, 2008
So much. Happy, sad and angry. First and foremost was bout one of my godsis. Was very happy den when she gave birth to a babygirl whom share the same b'day as me. I read her blog also felt happy with watery eyes :). I don't understand but it sure feels special somehow and its a new born, daughter of one of my first penpal n godsis. Shit happens and i don't know what happen lately to Chloe. T___T Just sad if it happens. I do understand how she felt to some extents. I hope i really can do something to help or save her... :(
Felt awkward today when people ask "Eh why are you not....."
=_= how the hell i was suppose to know?
hurts man. *first blood*
Was happy that night too. I dun understand why i still panic and got "stuck". 6months and i still stammer when saying those things. >< Well at least i did it. Tho i was a bit disappointed, but i too was happy the other way round. ^^
Yeap. It's a big decision to make. It really flares when i think about it that money is a big deal to my family. It's such a itch when you have nothing much in life and you can't do the things you wanted. And i just don't know why i had to be in this state where i'm not at least financially stable. I can't blame my parents cos thy've been working hard.....i.... just don't know wht to do. It's utterly quite HARD and DIFFICULT to achieve my ultimate dream. Sacrifices needed. To leave one it wud break my heart severely, to leave the other i would be the most ungrateful soul on earth. There is no compromise :( i just pray and hope that somewhere along this few years a change or miracle will happen.
Dear God i had enough pain, sufferings, struggles. Do yo still think that it is not enough????
I'm 22 now. A new life to start but no spices in me. sometimes i wonder why am i so willingful to do so much without getting a blessing. haha... silly indeed...