Dyed my hair today with the help of Vianna. THANKSSSSSSSSSS. The feeling was good. can't describe it... felt like i've become more handsome... :X haha. crap. Well it's just a try tht i want feel. Feels good a bit XD. Had breakfast somewhere along Chow Yang with de you "american breakfast" and it was okay... Wasn't enough to feel my tummy la :(
Tomorrow will be a better day to fight for things...
Tomorrow will always be different....
Tomorrow will be a new day to do things... changes things....
Nothing is impossible. Just difficult.
tho i am :( but still i will have to :) so that someone won't :(.
It's better to be someone honest... no matter how much people played a fool on you, take advantage of you and hate for being honest. Though it may not always be the best policy... maybe, just being who we are is enough cos we live not for someone but ourself. . .Honest people get cheated often... like me :( tired of those ppl.
I wished, wanted and hope for 'A'... but if i got a 'B' instead... maybe it's okay but still i prefer what i wanted...
Don't expect too much... you'll just hurt yourself. Let go and play by it naturally. Things gets more distant when you try more but it gets closer when you distant it. Ironic isn't it? Hate it but that is how things seem to flow for me...
The road up ahead is unpredictable. What is the future ahead of me, us, you? Things can change over a period time. Sometimes good, other times bad. Sometimes it takes time for you to realize things. A really long time. It's like there is one thing that you think is so perfect but over a period of time... it's not what it seems anymore. It turns ugly the way it treats you. Strange right? Changes? I don't know it's good or bad but. . . it does have some effects on you. Just sometime ago i read something bout impossible... well nothing is impossible. Just difficult. I like that. There is nothing you can't do... but it's just hard to do it or get it. Good things need hard work and a teacher once told me success comes after many hardwork and sufferings. But some don't. Just bad luck. At times if you put your heart into it. It'll work. Like the origami... haha.. lovely :) Just to write something before i go to study. Had a hot night last nite. and a smelly morning. plastic burning...grrr...
I was a midnight rider on a cloud of smoke
I could make a woman hang on every single stroke
I was an iron man
I had a master plan
But I was alone
I could hear you breathing
With a sigh of the wind
I remember how your body started trembling
Oh, what a night it's been
And for the state I'm in
I'm still alone
And all the wonders made for the Earth
And all the hearts in all creation
Somehow I always end up alone
Always end up alone
So I play, I'll wait
'Cause you know that love takes time
We came so far
Just the beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone
Well, since I got no message on your answer phone
And since you're busy every minute.
I just stay at home
I make believe you care
I feel you everywhere
But I'm still alone
I'm on a wheel of fortune with a twist of fate
'Cause I know it isn't heaven, is it love or hate
Am I the subject of the pain
An I the stranger in the rain
I am alone
And if there glory there to behold
Maybe it's my imagination
Another story there to be told
So I play, I'll wait
And I pray it's not too late
We came so far
Just a beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone
And all the wonders made for the Earth
And all the hearts in all creation
Another story there to be told
So I play, I'll wait
And I pray it's not too late
We came so far
Just a beat of a lonely heart
And it's mine
I don't want to be alone
Gone, but not out of sight
I'm caught in the rain and there's no one home
Face the heat of the night
The one that you love's got a heart that's made of stone
Shine and search for the light
And sooner or later you'll be cruising on your ocean
And clean out of sight
I'm caught in the rain and there's no one home
My second attempt in making the diamond rose which took almost 5 hours... Wow... XD. I love my fingers :)
Had my lunch at Sun WOng with my housemates. Ordered Horlicks and pork burger... service was a bit lousy. environment okok lor... price... decent.. food...no comment but im happy with my meal :)
Wira suddenly posted these photos on facebook and i got him to send to me. Taken when i was in Upper six GP class.I teared a bit when i look at these photos. It was probably the best times i ever had. Laughters till your tears flow and the word unhappiness didn't exist in my dictionary then. It was a great time. Another was when we had a lunch with Dr Sunil at Tenaga restaurant. Indian food. It rOcks that time. Rawrrrrrrrr. Wira and Dan was in UK now, Sharen in UBD and Faisal in Brunei still. Im stuck in KL and had not been home since late last year. Heard from Wira that he be coming to KL with Dan around August. YES!!!!!! I be waiting that moment to chill out with e. It would be great if Sharen and Fai would come along. I wish them well now and a smooth journey ahead. I really miss laughinh wildly :(. I miss fun, i miss everything great. Saturday morning and i be havin my next exam and tuesday.
Two thoughts creeped into my mind now. It leads me confusion to what should i do... it's a bit annoying and undecided... but maybe i still let time decide...miss d old days
:)
Just finish my exam today...was ok with the exams but unhappy with some other things. Luckily other things come up to cheer me up. First was shian suddenly askin me out to L'oreal warehouse before i even got the chance to sleep. Well i bought a Sanf Beige Loreal hair dye. A bit nervous of what it will do to my look. But its once in a life time thingy so imma do it... Then it was time to meet up Janice too. She ate this tongshui ... green bean and i ate this lovely apple and lemon which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happily sour :) Then i got her to pick a ticket from the lottery counter and i won rm3! YEAH!!! I really hope i could win some money to help my parents...
Called up home and talk to my dad too. Feeling is again...
signing off....
Had a risky night out the day before our exams. Was out stuck with Cindy with Vianna not going last minute. There was this freeze activity happening in Sunway Pyramid in conjunction with the world earth day. Wasn't happy bout it... so was cindy cos some stupid people started the countdown n end. Grr... become 4 minutes of sohai...
Had my dinner at hartz which i wanted so much since i first went there. Finally got it!!!! My remarks? Lots of choice...pumpkins, salads potato chips and chicken. The chicken was okay but a bit cold. Pumpkin... i like those deep fried ones and the salad is great too.Coffee is lovely as well. Might go again next time XD
Had four nightmares in a row...
day one. scary one. damn. . .
day two. weird one. at the same time dreamt of a topic to do for FYP
day three. remembered 4 dreams in a night. then dreamt another topic to d for FYP
day four. angry and hurtful dream. don't want to talk about it. T_T
Sigh. My cousin said i should get sleeping pills... but i do sleep well tho. just waking up is terrible. but today is special. Get to see a beautiful angel-like smile from someone special. ^_^ thanks...
The Blue Rose
A folktale from China
Retold by Rose Owens
There was once an Emperor who had but one child—a daughter. She was his pride and joy, his treasure. He cherished her above all else. As he became old and his health began to fail, he realized that he might not always be there to care for and protect this precious daughter. He determined that it would be best if he were to find a husband for his daughter.
When it became known that the Emperor was seeking a husband for the Princess, many men found their way to the palace to request his daughter’s hand in marriage. The Princess pleaded with her father. “Father, let me remain with you to care for you. I have no wish to marry and leave you.” But her father was adamant. Finally he said he would allow her to name one qualification that her chosen husband must meet—be it wealth or looks or special ability or whatever. The Princess said she would name that qualification on the morrow.
That evening the Princess went to the garden to talk with the gardener’s son—her childhood playmate. “If I say my husband must be handsome, he might be handsome but have a cruel heart. If I say my husband must be kind, he might also be terribly old. Oh what qualification should I specify?”
As they discussed the problem, the Princess and the gardener’s son determined that it should take the form of a test—difficult but not so difficult as to be impossible. “And it must be ambiguous,” said the gardener’s son, “ so that it is up to you to determine if the man qualifies.” Late that night they finally determined what that qualification must be.
The next morning the Princess told her father, “I will marry the man who can bring me a blue rose.”
The neverending stream of suitors ended for none could find a blue rose.
A wealthy merchant, not wanting to waste time looking for the blue rose, went to a flower vendor. “I will give you a bag of gold if you can find me a blue rose,” he said. After a long, fruitless search, the flower vendor gave up. He bought a strong dye and dipped the stem into it. The petals of the rose turned a pale blue. “Keep the rose in the vase with the dye,” he told the merchant, “until just before you give it to the Princess.”
The merchant brought the rose to the Princess. The Princess reached out and took the rose from his hand. As she looked at the rose, a drop of blue dye fell from the stem and puddled in her hand. She looked at the bluish-green leaves and then looked into the merchant’s eyes. He could not meet her gaze. “I cannot marry you,” she said. You have tried to deceive me. I would have a husband who is true.”
There was a handsome young warrior who would marry the Princess. He was strong and powerful. None dared to stand against him. The young warrior went to the king of a neighboring kingdom. “Bring me the blue rose,” he said, “or I will kill you and half the people in your kingdom.” The king, who valued peace and did not wish to fight, presented the warrior with a blue sapphire that was carved in the shape of a rose.
The young warrior presented the sapphire rose to the Princess. She looked into his cold eyes—eyes that were as hard as the rose of stone. She said, “I cannot marry you. I must have a blue rose that is real—not one that is cold and hard.”
The youngest of the king’s advisors also sought the Princess’ hand. He conceived a clever plan. He commissioned an artist to make a blue bowl. On the side of the bowl was painted a blue rose. The rim of the bowl was edged in gold. It was fragile and delicate—a thing of rare beauty. The young advisor presented it to the Princess on bended knee. The Princess looked at the bowl and looked into the eyes of the young man. “Marry me, Princess,” he said, “I will help you rule your kingdom.”
The Princess shook her head, “I must have a rose that is real.”
That evening the Princess sat in the garden talking to the gardener’s son. “None of them could bring me the blue rose. I must marry someone who will be honest and true with me—as you have always been.
He cannot be hard and cruel. I need someone who is kind and patient—as you have been.
I do not want a husband who seeks only for power and riches. I want one who will value me for myself—as you have. . . . .”
“Princess,” said the gardener’s son. “Tomorrow I will bring you the blue rose. Wait for me in the blue room just before sundown.”
The next day when the sun was almost gone, the Princess sat in the blue room. The gardener’s son approached bearing a plain white rose in his hands.
“But it is a common white rose,” said one.
“He is the gardener’s son,” said another.
“Surely the Princess will send him away,” said a third.
The gardener’s son knelt before the Princess. Through the blue stain glass windows, the rays of the setting sun shone touched the petals of the white rose.
As the Princess reached out to take the rose, a murmur arose. “He is only the gardener’s son.”
“The rose is not truly blue.”
The Princess stood. “My people, let me tell you what I see. I see a young man who has always been honest and true. I see a young man who has had the courage to be patient and kind enough to wait until I knew what was in my heart. I see a young man who values me for myself. In his hands he hold a gift of love. And it is blue. And if you cannot see that the rose is blue, I say that you are colorblind.
The old Emperor took his daughter’s hand and he took the hand of the gardener’s son and joined them. And the Princess married the gardener’s son and they lived happily ever after—not because this storyteller said so—not because that’s the way that love stories should end. But because the Princess and the gardener’s son knew that their happiness was in their own hands and that each was responsible for making sure that the other was happy.
**************************************************************************************
True enough that happiness is in the hands of me and you, not others. Responsibility was one role that i'm working hard to maintain and assure you :). I hope maybe we can be like them cos so happen that my family bear similarities like he garderner ( grew up in a farm wert) and you... love your parents so much too. You're the princess in my heart and i would love to make you my queen... :) Hope we can hold hands together one day, i'll wait for you ~ from silly sleepy piggy to Miss Honey Dew.
True enough.:) i become more than someone with the help and support of someone special. :D
it's a bit funny that everytime i called my parents.... ended up in tears. Never thought that i would love and miss them so much when i used to want to get away as soon as possible... Sigh. Hope luck will come so i got the chance to go back.
Today i just installed a new theme from alienware. Love it. esp the window media player. XD and here's some screenshots of my CABAL character.XD handsome eh.
Yay. This is my 200th post. Yay and i decided to post this video i found from a friend. Dang it was so funny.
1. Do you eat a lot of fast food?
Not as much as my friends.
2. Besides your mouth, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
er...?everywhere?
3. Have you kissed anyone in 2008?
I wish...
4. Were you happy when you woke up today?
yup..
5. Have you ever streaked?
haha..I don't know..
6. Are you an understanding person?
I used to be. Now i seem to lost touch...
7. What was the last movie you saw in theaters?
I rarely go to the cinema...
8. Did you pray before you went to bed last night?
Sorry God. ><
9. What did you last get upset about?
Relationships, family and money.
10. Do you eat candy on a daily basis?
Lately yes...
11. Does it make you happy to get letters in the mail?
YESSSS
12. Who was the last person to text you?
Yu Hua
13. What are you looking forward to this summer?
Just get my things done..
14. Who was the last person you ate with?
housemates.
15. Do raisins belong in cookies?
No.
16. What's your screen name?
Jau Yn
17. Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice?
Clothes?food?
18. Are you currently taking a science class in school?
nope..
19. You've just won a free vacation to either South America or North Korea?
South America
20.Kiss on the first date?
21. Would you rather have chicken or steak?
Steak
22. Why did your last relationship end?
stupidity, idiotcy, impatience, carelessness and....
23. What's one thing you've learned??
Be calm, patient and honest.
24. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Vianna
25. How often do you see your exes?
lalala
26. Who was the last baby you held?
don't remember
27. Would you ever donate blood?
Unless it's a life and death situation
28. How many snack machines are in your school?
two?
29. Have you ever felt replaced?
Yes.
30. Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house?
i would love to have someone's head...
31. Do you believe in karma?
yup..
32. Have you ever been asked out?
Yea.
33. Are you good at telling jokes?
Used to until i lost my...
34. Have you ever driven without a license?
no
35. How is your ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend doing?
Very good.
36. Do you wish you had smaller feet?
Big feet can step people harder. HAHA
37. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
Yesh
38. When ordering sushi, what do you get?
anything?
39. How many of your friends have seen you naked?
none?
40. Do you write in cursive or in print?
cursive..
41. Would you rather have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or friends with benefits?
A girlfriend with a future and friends that will support.
42. Who was the last person you sat next to?
matthew?
43. What were you doing at 10 am?
thinking too much
44. Are you different now than you were six months ago?
Yes
45. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Plain water...
I song given by Chivalry Amulet(mei ling). Just adore the lyrics of this song cos... maybe that's what i am... like that song...
If I had money I'd go wild
buy you furs dress you like
a queen
And in a chauffered limousine
we'd look so fine.
But I'm an ordinary guy and
my pockets are empty
Just an ordinary guy
but I'm yours till I die.
I can't give you anything
but my love
but my love
I can't give you anything
but my love
but my love.
I cannot promise you the world
can't afford any fancy things
I cannot buy you diamond rings
no string of pearls.
But my devotion I will give all
my life just to you girl
My devotion I will give for
as long as I live.
I can't give you anything. but my
love. but my love . . .
There was this shop in ss2 that i frequent almost everytime i go there. Today, bought a cracker and sweets. Sakuma drops. It's in a tin and looks awesome. XD
How evil could i be? There are times when i have malicious thoughts flowing in my mind. Of course i don't simply inflict harm but only when i'm "disturbed" But as one said. Those who hates suffers more than the hated. So whats the point of hating people when the hater suffers more? Maybe there is still vengence in the heart when one is heart. Some can let go. Some cant. Sometimes the pain is too much to forget about it. But i do believe wthat what people do will have a retribution? Karma? WOke up in the middle of the night last nite with a stomachache. Ouch. Must be the curry mee at Sentosa. Ish ~ Signing out now for my studies.
I remember once Weina, my senior once said "these (refering to the SRC comittee) are the lizards (mispronounced leaders) of...." haha. Caught this lizard on De you's car when going to have my supper at Sentosa. Curry mee. XD
It's the end of the semester now. One week till exams and imma rock it. This sem had been a challenge. Academics and relationships. Cried painfully again this sem. At least this time there was someone important to accompany me. THANK YOU. Things change a lot. Hope it's for the good. Here's a couple of pics of my class. ^^ Our seniors graduated too. Wonder how would it be like when its our turn. Such a big group too... Two more semesters to go and i hope things will run smooth then.
Had my lunch with some friends at Nandos. First time there and it was to some extents delicious. A bit too sour. None of the four nandos sauce are really spicy. They're more sourish and salty a bit. Haha... Had some great time there i guess with the strong rain. Got half wet when walking back to the campus... :) I simply lurve one of the pics i taken. d one w a reflection in the knife. Accidently saw it and i asked alex to snap it for me. XD
YES YES!!! I love youtube!!! Again another fav from the past. ^^
Her songs always make me smile. I've forgotten her for quite some time. >< Heres two song that i would like to share... where she forgets her lyrics. Haha.. A beautiful morning to go with today...^^
Luna Sea - Love song. This song made me in tears often. Their final act. :)
OKay heres a happier song. :) titled Julia
Crucify my love
If my love is blind
Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know Never trust
"That love should see a color"
Crucify my love
If it should be the way
Swing the heartache
Feel it inside out
When the wind cries
I'll say goodbye
Tried to learn Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer
Is this forever
Like a river flowing to the sea
You'll be miles away, and I will know
I know I can deal with the pain
No reason to cry
Crucify my love
If my love is blind
Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know Never trust
"That love should see a color"
Crucify my love
If it should be the way
'Til the loneliness shadows the sky
I'll be sailing down and I will know
I know I can clear clouds away
Oh Is it a crime to love
Swing the heartache
Feel it inside out
When the wind cries
I'll say goodbye
Tried to learn Tried to find
To reach out for eternity
Where's the answer
Is this forever
If my love is blind
Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know Never trust
"That love should see a color"
Crucify my love
If it should be the way
Another song i listen to frequently
Some quotes i gathered on how i feel...
William Butler Yeats
Hearts are not had as a gift, But hearts are earned...
Anonymous
The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.
Tennessee Williams
There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.
Samuel Butler
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all
Charlie Brown
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Herman Hesse
Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
Anais Nin
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
Anon. . .
No, I can’t erase the wrong I’ve done but I hope you can give me another chance. Because if you were me, you would want the same and I’d give that chance to you
The ones that you love the most are usually the ones that hurt you the most.
Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
It's not just about love between a couple sometimes. But the love between a friend. It dies of errors and misunderstandings ... and all things irrelevant...
It sure is a lousy, boring and painful day. Even the night wouldn't let go of me. Was out with my housemate for a dinner at Tappers cafe. The portion was so farking small!!!! I was like... wth is that? I ordered this minute chicken chop.theres a slice of bread, 23 small peas, a small potato and a small portion of chicken breast. Damn i can cook a better meal than that with RM 8.50!!!! Didn't ate much d whole day and even the dinner spoiled my mood worse. SIGH. Wasn't really hungry tho. Should have gone to midvalley instead...
It's another day i don't like. Tho i finished touching up my blog. I felt lost in some sense. Sat at the sofa for an hour thinking too much. What is in my mind? A lot of things. Was thinking bout friends and family. Myself and other minor things. I intend to go out today but ...
Wonder why is it happening again when it shouldn't be. Tired today. Now. Just flipped over some poems.
The Early Purges
I was six when I first saw kittens drown.
Dan Taggart pitched them, 'the scraggy wee shits',
Into a bucket; a frail metal sound,
Soft paws scraping like mad. But their tiny din
Was soon soused. They were slung on the snout
Of the pump and the water pumped in.
'Sure, isn't it better for them now?' Dan said.
Like wet gloves they bobbed and shone till he sluiced
Them out on the dunghill, glossy and dead.
Suddenly frightened, for days I sadly hung
Round the yard, watching the three sogged remains
Turn mealy and crisp as old summer dung
Until I forgot them. But the fear came back
When Dan trapped big rats, snared rabbits, shot crows
Or, with a sickening tug, pulled old hens' necks.
Still, living displaces false sentiments
And now, when shrill pups are prodded to drown
I just shrug, 'Bloody pups'. It makes sense:
'Prevention of cruelty' talk cuts ice in town
Where they consider death unnatural
But on well-run farms pests have to be kept down.
written by Seamus Heaney.
Studied this before when i was in lower six. Maybe it applies to somethings that what i want to say or feel? It's just about the transition from childhood to adulthood. Something a child don't understand and when he grews up. He finally knows why certain things need to be done. In some sense, it's just like there is a reason for someone to do somethings. Other people may not understand, only the person who do it will know. To reach understanding is to be in the person shoes. Growing up in a farm life. I was kinda glad that i need not to kill animals. . .
Spend the whole day trying to look for a new skin for my blog. Very tiring one. This is the final production.A bit creepy tho. >< Click the pics for colour.:)
Free star bucks!!!!!!!!! First time i had that drink. Celebrating their new opening at Jaya One. Didn't put enough sugar that time i had a bitter afternoon. Ouch.
