Jewel & Sapphire™

Aight another long while i didn't update my blog. Don't have the time nor the heart to write as i used to. Been jobless for a while... yes i got a job in Denise the wine shop but its not a full time ler...

In the weeks to come i am going to embark on a new journey. Well cut the crap. JOURNEY. duh =_=.

Well i was resorted to two options for my choice of work. Citibank and Salmat Salesforce. No that is not a local company but an australian thats been growing since 2 decades ago.

To cut the long story, i've chosen citibank for fear of taking risks. Not to say im a coward but i couldn't take more of it and i am... well, desperate? True that what i am going to work, the pay is gonna be way low but those ppl said 3 months later u gonna get a hang of it and earn comissions up to 3.5k. I do not know that is credible or not. The company won a Hewitt best employer before... well only once. fedex and amex won a number of times tho.


bit messed up on what i am going to say ><.

I am going to work there soon and i hope things will be more than alright and better. Good things come to those who wait and there could be a blessing in disguise. no i did not say that but some friend and elders gave me those two cents.

true to a certain extent cos i have some sort of different feel when i went to the places that i have interviewed. the motivation and energy is quite different too.

its the mid of may liaw... June to come soon and i hope things would turn well...

Another few months of my absence from blogging. It's my offday today so i better off updating while my friends nagggggggggggggggggg me to update here. No much to wrote about as usual. Not hoping that this year would be a better year but instead i hope that i can overcome the challenges easier. Nothing in life is easy. You have to have the guts go clean the mess you have. Life's like that ^^.

You gotta be tough.

No new year resolutions. They are just lies you made up for yourself. Haha...

t's been a long time that i didn't update my blog and write about anything. I'm just busy. depressed and totally lost my senses. I'm even beginning to felt a bit "demanding" or "singaporean" since i work for ocbc. Lots of changes took place. Some good, others bad. Late had an addiction to lemons and coconut drinks XD. No idea why. Hehe... Not been eating much as i used too. Need to lose a lot of weight in two months time or else my dear hua mu lan would slice me. Hehe...:x

Been travelling a lot too. Being a domestic tourist running here and there to have a look whts so speacial about Malaysia...

This is a part of my baby ASUS.

My laptops core. The hardisk.

What happened?

It broke down today.

when i got back from somewhere.

my baby was crying for help then. screaming painfully as it thawed my cold heart.

How could i leave you lonely there?

All was lost now.

Those memories, those images...

This is the saddest day in my life :(

tired . . .

sometimes i just wonder when will i get busted...

Im free tonight. and alone too. Coz everyone went back to their hometown and im here wondering tiredly. My hippo was busy tonight to layan me. lots of work. Hope she goes through it smoothly. It's a hell lot of stress and tiredness too.

My work has been fine. My trainer talked to me just now. He told me that tho i was weak, i have atitude to do work and continue. I felt proud :) but sad that no one to share that moment of relieve. Tried to call that someone since noon... but..

It's been rather long that i didn't write. In English particulary. Everyday i've been using bank terms. Kinda tired and i felt like a robot. Credit cards specialist. Singaporeans. LOL.

Have i been better or worse? God knows.

Tomorrow is my favourite day of the year. BON ODORI.

LOVEEEEEEEEEEE IT !!!!

Hope to have some fun tomorrow ! XD

This was one month ago. Been busy and tired to upload my pics and blog some crap out of it. Well that's just it. Had a fun time at starbucks and alter ate at fireman. Time just moved so fast. SO many pains and tears i had through during my time in UTAR. I couldn't say it's the best or worst time but surely, im not really happy with my "life" there... or do i really have a life? People are so full of ego, hypocrites and so... and soo... finally im outta there. There is only a handful of memories that i have that i can treasure the rest... forgetting them slowly. I remembered how i used to be moody and sad often. Goin home is like goin to hell. Thank god that i got a part time job that lasted for 6 months to keep my mood occupied. At the same time, i matured and developed a new skill and expertise? Wine. Haha.. Thank you Denise The Wine Shop. I learned a lot there.

Now im working at Cyberjaya. Yes the pressure is more intense. More stressful. But i am able to enjoy it more better. Just go there, work, do my best and leave that day happy. Night time is my free time from now on.. except that these few week i had to study for my work but after a while, i should be fine. THo travelling home is another hell... 2 hours... fuck. but well.... that's life. Dun plan to move there tho...

and so here ends my story...

It's my bday yesterday. A surprise that my housemates got me a cake. Touched. Before that a dear friend celebrated for me. It wasnt really a fabulous day. But i appreciated those who did things to me for my bday ^^. Bought myself an expensive present XD

Had a hard time adjusting my life. Had to get used to it to the loneliness.

Watched a video by Leong today in his blog...learn this. If you failed 100 times, try 100 times again. Keep on trying again and don't give up. If you did, do you think you will get up again?

and another was an advice by my teacher, it's just that everything is over and i had to restart a new life... Its a new world and you gotta move on louis..

It's sunday and it's my last day of the so called freedom i had cos tomorrow i be starting to work. Travel all the way to cyberjaya took about1.30 hour. Had to wake up about 5.30 every morning now to prepare n travel. Tough and tiring journey but well, they paid me well and i gotta sacrifice well too. Probably around june or july i guess financial problems would start to ease now as i can help my family :) Kinda cried when i got the job and of course, a lot of my friends who knew how much my pay was was kinda :WAH.......... top secret here. XD

Wish me luck tomorrow. Not been blogging for a month too le. Wonder would i have time to do so still.

Alas... my academic life ends here. Don't know if it was a happy ending or sad... 3 years just went by like this and now when you recall the past... what is it all about? I have mixed feelings tho. happy and sad. Sad cos well... can't see dear friends anymore... Happy...well to quote from someone,..cant wait to get away from those pathetic faces. True. So tempted to put their fucking names there but well.Spare them la....

Goin to have an interview next month. Hope i can get the job. Gotta brush up some of my skills too. The pain of working life is here and well, gotta struggle to it and make some things come true.

Sigh. Suddenly want to vent my anger here

**********************************************
To this two fucking guys. FUCK YOU. CURSE YOU.
No i won't pray for your death but i pray for your sufferings.
Let everyday be a mess to you. A torture. If there is a chance, i'll skin you alive. Break your bones with a hammer inch by inch and i'll pull your hair out once by one. And what pain cud it be if i'll kick your balls every few hours? and oh another form of pain, i'll stick some sharp steel under your nails and let it bleed. and oh i will pull ur nails slowly too XD. and why not let scorpions sting you around? and dogs barking you? afterball being scared is far more worse than expecting a pain. and last i shall put worms into your ears. and let u whine in pain.

All for hurting someone. This is a nightmare i hope you get every night.

and oh, i hope you will be raped.

**********************************************


i'm still working in denise now. be leaving soon with a small amount of money. Hope i will strive well next month and be the best of everything. Will i do my masters or continue studying again? i don't know. just hope things will be alright.

Not been blog seriously for months and i seem to lost touch of my composure. FInally it has come to a stage where i had to make choices. By the end of this april. Life's gonna get serious and critical and imma going to step into a new phase of life. Just that i had some troubles on where to go and what to do. Earlier, everything was planned well. But somehow something else struck me and i asked myself.... are you confident? are you sure? Many things swirl into my mind and i dun even know what i can really do. It's money that bugs me a lot. Got parents and bro to take care and my own future.

I'm only 22. coming 23. most may see this as a "still young" age. but .. maybe im just too ambitious or had high expectations in my life? And i just keep asking myself that shud i go back to brunei or something. Brunei used to flourish well.. but now.. it's not as it is. A lot of things are more expensive than malaysia here too.

what do i really want? Why do i had to go through this journey alone?

A lot of my friends.. most of them will be playing around after their studies. Kinda envious cos, i dun seem to have any line to follow and play through. All im worried is money and getting a job and those kinda stuff.

What to do? I was born in this life.And i want to change my life. But i know it is going to be hard...

Unhappy today

Angry today

Pissed off.

No one is around for me today. Felt....

Headache still here.

Hand in assignment le but still worried bout some other assignments still $ of them.

Angry with this debu-bitch.Thinking that animal is so geng. Only know how to bully bully bully.

Why didn't i fight back? Voice back?

Guilty.

How can i bear more? Today when talking i can even felt the sharpness in my voice.

Evenhough im dead tired and busy, i still cared. But i didn't even get a sms :( sad.

headache. But i still stay put. Don't care. Just let the pain go bombom in me.

Had a lousy meal. Looked at my tummy. go die la.

Might go hunger strike for a week plus or so.

Depression. Thinking too much.

Why do i always end up with rubbish?

Had a bad day. got honked again. Almost went straight face to face with a vehicle. I lost my senses a lot. . .

Mum, dad. Miss you. T_T

Brunei, i wish i could go back but den again, its not goin to be a place that i may be happy with. The bad memories. I'll go back there one day. Work. Earn. Back to Msia again.

Going to graduate soon. Happy and yet sad.

><

It's been almost a month since i last blog. Been very busy with lots of things. Academics and work.It had also been an emotional month for me tho. To begin with, lets start with my Uni. Well it's been tough since i've been stuck with people that i can't communicate or cooperate with. It's really awful and hard and emotions just stirred up. Been trying hard to make things better but it justs get harder. Talk here and talk there and in the end everything just pushes back to me. My stresses level peaked to the certain extent that im restless and pimples grew too. Been trying hard, been pressured. Graduation is coming soon and what can i do? Will i get a good job soon or will i be in deep trouble? i Have options tho i being going to kampar and be a tutor, IF they are willing to hire me. Second i will be going back to Brunei and teach. Which will i choose? Hopefully, i would get to work in the Brunei government. Then i will be super happy and richer by 2 years compared to if i were working in Malaysia XD. But then, it was just perhaps a wish that may be far reached. Nevertheless i may be in trouble again. Well least i still get to work temporarily in Denise for the time being.

Work? Aight. Lots to lose. Every month i would be losing money. Why? Cos its either those wines get missing or i break em. T_T

My emotions are swinging lately. My temper is getting awful.But i need to keep it behind me, behind my heart and held those pains that are stabbing at me. You know how it feels? Sometimes you just felt like your a "criminal" while ur not. Imagine been accused of murder or something and there your waiting your turn at the deathrow. Stress and you sure know that you're not gonna die but the stress is just still there. How long should i wait?3 months?

CURSE YOU. Woman.Is there shit in your brains?

Still, the accident i had last month haunts me.just everytime i walk past that road, it reminded me of that accident. Just everytime a car honks me, a motor zooms by, it haunts me. and with accidents i see, with ppl die,it haunts me more. I wish i could move and not see the road again, cos its still haunting me at times....

Just yesterday morning. Around 7.45 am around my condo. I had an accident. Can't remember anything that happened except waking up semi-consciously on the road. Mei Ling just happened to be there when she saw me. Said i was lying in the middle of the road and the bicycle was somewhere and people were dragging me to the pavement. Then i guess i must have woke up then. Cos i was tryin to take out my phone and call my parents. I was closing my eye. and bloody hell then i realize i didn't have any credit. Mei Ling called from the otherside of the road then i was lucky she was somehow there.A lot of things i cant remember then. Like she was there helping me up and it was me locking the bicycle to the chain instead of her. I tot it was her doing it.

Well i think after chainin the bicycle i was sent ot UM Hospital Trauma and Emergency Center.Had a two jabs. Arm and my Butt. Ouch. I was lucky that my balls are still intact having to ride on a bicycle.

Spent two hours in agony at the ward. Keep holding my head. Had a big swell on my head and a lot of tissue torn. arms and legs. Ouch. Even walking is a pain now.

Was discharged around 2 pm. Still went to uni to show em im alright :) was happy that a lot cared for me :) :) :)

Woke up with more pains in the upper part body.

I'm alive now. Glad and relieved. A bit guilty too. Thank God im here again. Its a very traumatic and scary experience. But i got through it and stayed strong.

Went shopping around Sg Wang, Times Square and Midvalley today. Had a healthy lunch at Ah Yee herbal restaurant. A bit pricy but its delicious tho. Got two Giordano T.A scarf and a shoe. Spend like almost rm200. First time i spend with my hard earned money.

DAMN HAPPY TODAY. HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!

LA LA LA LA !!!

Oh i love my scarf and Giordano.

HAPPY !!!!!!

Ate a lot today too. This Tiramisu Ice blend from little taiwan. NOT GOOD AT ALL!

Then em... thinks that's all. XD

Night now :)

And here i am. 2009. 2008 just creeped away minutes ago.

Lots to catch up. Last year had been a better year. Tho some problems still arise. However, im optimistic that this year will be better too :) Lots to adjust and change. Most importantly, achieve.

Celebrating it alone like last year. It wasn't much except that i bought myself some food and watched fireworks.

New Year Resolutions...

Em... Still the same i guess. But i had more materialistic goal this year :) Perhaps it's time. 6 months to go, i do hope . . . the very best will come :).

It's gonna be 2009 in a matter of days. Been neglecting my blog for an awful period of time. There's a lot that i've not post up yet. >< Well here's my wishlist or things that imma need to get next year.




YES A NINTENDO DS. Been wanting to have it for a pretty long time. Since i'm working part time now with a decent pay... and saving aggresively and organizing my money ( FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE) properly. I'd get this GODLIKE artifact around Feb. I hope unless some unforseen circumstances stabbed me from the back and i had to delayed it. T_T Not decided what colour to get yet. Any suggestions? I thinking about White, Enamal Blue, Green, Cobalt blur or Red. VOTE !!!




YES A PANASONIC LUMIX PROSUMER!!! And it bloody costs RM 1.4K at the moment. Will only get this by the end of 2009. So expensive la... price should be dropping then and i'll get this as a christmas gift for myself. One year to go, One year to save.

That's the only two item that i'll get for myself. Nothing else i need unless my laptop got divorced me. Need her a lot and i don't really need a new once.

Other stuff that i may need to get...

Socks. yeah. Socks. Most of those i'm wearing now got holes. Thinking of getting those coloured socks.

Shoes. Two pairs. A black leather one and a sporty one. My current shoe got a hole there and the other white one, sort of got a tear at the sides. May get the leather one when imma grad.

Sling bag. White Converse that i saw in Midvalley or the $$$ ones by Bagman. Good for my laptop and it's rainproof.

Umbrella. God know. She knows. I need one. I lost a new one not long ago. There's a bloody good auto umbrella by Denise tho. It costs RM 47!!!!!> Boss, can i get a discount?

FOSSIL watch or some watch. My Beverly Hills is in Brunei. Spoiled. My dad's Christa Carol Paris watch... I'll be dead when he found out what happened to his watch.

Jeans. Im getting bigger each month. Trying to slim down but there isnt much improvement.

Vest. Clothes. Gonna get some to shape myself out.

Fish Foot Spa. My feet... smells cos i got lostsa dead skin there. Even cutting my nails is a pain.

Thermoflast. Hot soup at nite when imma at work.

Emm Emm. Guess that's it? Well i do have wishes and some resolutions. But that will remain a secret ^^

Had fun with these people. And well.. most probably the most "fun" thing was where i had my hair cut by Koon, Li Zhao and De you.... Oh bloody De you you're liar. I caught your bloody liar and guilty face on Cam. Wait till i snap it and post it on blog.

My Wine adventures. . .
Before i had my interview at Denise, i actually interviewed for a job in the Garden's beside Midvalley as a retail assistant for an artshop. The pay was good and it's someplace i enjoyed to be in. Sadly i didn't get it and then happily i didn't cos my dar;ing told me it was really inconvenient. My second interview was with Denise the Wine shop in SS2. It was like a heaven sent job. I passed by the shop and there was vacancy for a WINE ADVISER and it needn't any EXPERIENCE. SO i went in, had my interview and few hours later i was HIRED. Very thankful for the job. My had starting pay with RM5 per hour and now RM6.^^

Has my first training at Hotel Equatorial KL. Training as a Someliar.(Did i get that spelling right?) Well i had 4 glasses of white wines, 3 glasses of red and a whisky from scotland which is a decade plus old) The experience was high-class and i never thought that i had the privilege to be inside a ballroom to drink those super expensive wines. Somemoew everyone was wearing formal while i only had my uniform.

Don't know when was my next training would be but i had drank a number of variety by now. Ausssie wine, Frenh, argentinan and chilian wine. And i had inputed a lot of wine knowledge in me. My favourite wine would now be Pertaringa Moscato. A white wine which is easy to drink. I don't really like red wines tho. Most are harsh with a level of tannin. Whites are better :)

Now im a sort of "manager" in charge of a small outlet. probably the size of my kitchen in Unique Seafood restaurant. Lovely place and it feels good to work independently here. No need to face stares by my co workers where it feels a bit weird and thus stopping my selling skills. I perform well better here.

There are indeed pains in this industry. One of it is having "jiu mo" or alllergic to certain substances in the wine. I had a bloody itch now for three days and i usually get heavy red patches if i drink a large amount of wine. 4 days ago i had 4 glasses of Shiraz and the second day a few glasses of Cab Sau.Now my itch is still killing me.

I also have broken a bottle of wine that costs me rm94.30 and it sure is a pain if i broke another bottle. Imagine i broke a RM 500 plus plus wine. God have mercy on me T_T. It's a pain too since i was shifted to Unique Seafood. Cycling there to work and back home late at night. It was tiring and i actually kinda broke down on my first night travelling a freaking 45 minutes home.

Work was tough indeed and it certainly had a strong impact on my character. I must say that my mind was shapped differently now and that i've become more mature and different. Maybe no one judges how one should think of oneself. But this is how i've felt due to some thoughts that had lingered in my mind.

Payday is coming next week when lady boss is back from thai.Gonna solve my problem real soon. Parents not sending me any money for my living expenses now too so it's all up to me now.

I had this vision , a dream that i want to be with with this person. Good changes are stepping into me one by one and i just hope that person can see the possibility and happiness in what i see. it''s been awfully a painful journey that i went through. God knows how much agony i took to reach this level. I wish for a blessing. No i want a blessing. . .i really need her a lot. I love her a lot. and i damn care and love her a lot more than anyone in this world.

Cigars
David, my district manager gave me a stick of cigar today. Value of rm7 per stick. XD